Sinfulness...It's a Killer

It's funny to think back to life before marriage and babies and review whatever expectations I had going into either one of those life changing events. I thought marriage would be a walk in the park! I was head over heals for Kaleb and thought that alone would be enough to keep up a good marriage (how dumb was I?). I don't think I ever fully sat down and thought through my role as a wife and I really didn't think through the things that would make me a good wife for Kaleb. I loved him, he loved me, we got married.

Marriage changes you. No way around it, it will change both of you. Do not get married with the expectation that you will be the same person even two months into your marriage or have the expectation that your spouse will be the same either. God really uses your spouse to grow you, let me tell you! I never realized just how selfish I was until I got married. Poor Kaleb. God really did a work in our marriage this past November and we are amazed at His goodness and His mercy. He has made our marriage stronger than it's ever been and we're coming up on our four year anniversary. It's really easy to let life get in the way when your priorities are way out of whack. One thing He really taught me through our struggles would be that I have to put Christ first, before EVERYTHING. When my relationship with the Lord comes first He takes care of the rest. I really feel like that was the major lesson I learned through it all and I'm so grateful that the Lord broke me of my sinfulness in that. I had always put Kaleb above God, and I would always think "I'm not ready to die, even though that means Heaven, I want to spend my life with my husband!" Totally wrong perspective to have on my part, Kaleb can never fill the void in my heart that should only be filled with Christ. Kaleb is human, he's a sinner just like me, therefore he will let me down as opposed to Christ who will not. When I am filled with Jesus He gives me the patience I need, He allows me to love Kaleb like I never could on my own, He gives me forgiveness for Kaleb when my stubborn sinful self would rather be bitter...Jesus Christ makes me a better wife and makes our marriage into something that's God honoring and really brings us together as "one flesh". Without Christ we would be nothing and that is nothing but the truth.

God really uses your kids to grow and change you. I really love how He uses them to grow me daily. When I'm praying and asking God for strength and peace moment by moment, He really takes care of me. I cannot love my kids, keep my patience, and be of encouragement without the Lord. I really want my kids to experience the love of Christ through me daily and to know that He is who I rely on to keep my cool and to teach them right from wrong, praying out loud so that they know it's a relationship and to know that they can and should go to Him for everything! He puts our food on the table, the roof over our head, and provides us with all of the other amazing stuff He's constantly blessing us with. He is worthy to be praised that's for sure. I'm really reminded of how blessed we are when I look at my boys, knowing that they're healthy and growing and really just basking in the love that Christ gives me for them, I get to enjoy that! There is nothing sweeter!

I pray that God continues to grown and change me, I don't want to be the same tomorrow that I am today. I'm a sinner in need of a Saviour and He is what is sweet in this life. I love the life that God has blessed me with, a loving, God honoring husband and two precious little boys! Sheesh.....that's ridiculous. Linking up with CaseyLeigh