Dear Jesus

One thing that God has really been laying on my heart lately is something that can completely consume my thoughts and make me so fearful if I’m not trusting in the Lord and His ability to work. My heart has been burdened for the salvation of my children. The thought of my boys growing up not knowing Jesus and dying without a faith that He is the risen Savior that paid for their sins and is the only way to be saved from eternal suffering breaks my heart. I can teach them and teach them until I’m blue in the face, but it’s ultimately their decision to accept or deny the truth and all I can do is pray that God uses me to teach them accurately with encouragement and that He will give them the faith to believe that He is their Savior.

God really started to lay this on my heart a year ago when I lost my Papa unexpectedly. We know where he is now and we know that he is living in perfection with Christ for eternity, it was still really hard to say goodbye and come to grips with the fact that we won’t get to enjoy him here on earth anymore, but we have the hope that we will see him someday and he never has to suffer from anything ever again. The importance of having that with my kids and the gravity of that whole idea weighed heavy on my heart, and still does. I’m learning that I need to fully give my kids over to the Lord, they are His and He has blessed me with them here on earth. Giving my kids over is probably the hardest thing to do, which is completely stupid when I think through that logically. God is God; I’m giving my kids over to Him not some crazy psycho who I don’t know, but it’s still such a struggle for me. It’s my stubborn sinful self that gets in the way of that. Giving over means losing control (or just admitting that I don’t have control in the first place) and that is really uncomfortable. I pray God continues to grow me and teach me how to raise my boys in a way that glorifies Him. I pray He gives my boys the faith to believe in Him and makes them His for eternity. Eternal separation kills me to think about, but it really helps to shape my day to day attitude with raising my boys. I need to rely fully on the Lord in my parenting and be praying for them always that God would keep their hearts soft to the Jesus that loves and adores them more than they’ll ever understand.  

Linking up with Casey Wiegand for a "What Is On Your Heart" link up